I´ve always been depending on the likes of others.
As a kid I´d spend every childhood hour with someone. Friends came to my house after school constantly and when one left I called the next. I basically had backup-pals on speed dial. "Hurry ! I´m home alone!" Wich was not true because my parents where there and I made no traps for burglers. Philoshophy wise I valued company, discussing my thoughts made them real and nothing had meaning without beeing shared. I was at a point where I´d rather read a book next to someone then alone. Julia Roberts laying in Hugh Grants lap seemed like a perfect relationship. Just beeing... sharing time.
At school discos the lone rangers in the corners where classed as wierdoes and I used to give casanovas who asked me out a fake number that played Akon´s song " lonely" when called. Wich was a huge insult back then so it was horrible I know! Kids are evil. Blame child me.. now it goes straight to Match.com. Much nicer!
Then there are the norms. No matter what, in Sweden, you get looks, but no more then when your companionless (urban dictionary, your welcome!) Then pure stares are guaranteed. Does he/she have the plague or even worse.. independence? As the audience try to decide wheather to pity or envy that lone wolf judgement is filling the air and that can be hard not to breathe in, even with all that independence as a shield.
Fast forward to adult life and the addiction becomes more of a burden. I lose countless amounts of toothbrushes to sleepovers and my clique have flaky excuses for not hanging out they call " work". What! You are going to make money instead of laying in a sunspot on the floor listening to music with me? Where are your priorities?
.. So as therapy for my unsocial-phobia I increasingly started going places all by myself, and as Celine Dion knows I don´t want to be... all by myself. Let me tell you mates, it turned out to be an absolute revelation! I got clarity, new friends and I get a whole lot of work done.
So ask yourself.. have you gone to a party, the movies or even dinner solo?
Did that thought make you uncomfortable? Then you probably should.
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