When I was only a child I was certain I would save the world.
Put bad guys behind bars or be so Mother Theresa good that my surrondings would feel inspired to rescue kittens from trees for a living. Kind off in a superhero way.. Now you might call that blue eyed and naive. No need to worry, come high school that was knocked right out of me. I woke up to the fact that the only person needing a rescue was me, falling for the bad guys I was supposed to give the "go to jail" card. Crime? stealing my ..no, not heart that´s cheesy.. selfrespect.
The bullying was light for my part but it got stuck, made me question myself. Suddenly I started acting like what I thought my peers wanted me to act like. What they said mattered more than what my own voice did and after a while my voice became silent. Music, movies, badly influencial friends had a lot to say so I listened when they told me what to do and how to think. Problem was that there where so many opinions, and they did not agree. Around me was an echo of arguing voices deciding my faith as I ran back and forth, changed my hair, clothes and identity in order for them to be quiet and satisfied. Spolier alert! That NEVER happend. It became clear that trying to please everyone is a task many take on but no one succeeds at and a cheap ticket to a confused mindset. And if that is what you want, all you need to do is google pictures of Britney and Justin or learn that Sadam Hussein once worked for the CIA.
But then something amazing happend. I found a mute button called not giving a f.. After pushing that, this my friends is what I realized .. You are the center of YOUR life. In it you are the master, the designer, the judge and the creator. That means great power over your life and also a responsibility for all the things that you do. Pressure, I know, so to guide my way I sat down with my good friends aka pen and paper to write down some ground rules. Headlined: Beliefs of a careless spinster.
I cleared out small and big things..to give you a taste, I came up with that for me:
These "mindrules" should not be glammed up and are not meant to please everyone. They are honest, wierd and true in my mind. When you are done, put them away and look at them when you feel lost.
Doing this it became clear that this will help guide my future successes and mistakes. I see it as my treasure map and all actions I take are based from that piece of wrinkly paper. Every decision made is a choice to move forward, backward,sideways or even to stay still in life. Which ultimately leads to the treasure of fullfilling a deeper purpose.
Reaching that conclusion I became sure that child-me was right after all, I will change a world.. mine